The sound patterns in this piece are so cool! The alliteration of "monochrome metronome," "clockwork clicking" and "creaking cogs" mimics the initial "tick-tick-tick" sound of the metronome/clock. I like how the title sets the stage for the poem and the idea of this ballerina that's trapped in a music box moving to the same song over and over again, even though she's anxious. Thank you for sharing!
This really is the worst feeling - when you feel such strong feelings for someone else but it's not reciprocated (and it feels like betrayal too). You've captured this well, and the tears and tiredness of never getting/feeling what you want. Thank you for sharing - keep writing!
Ooh I love this! The juxtaposition between the softness of the stuffed bunny heart and the roughnesss/toughness of the toy cowboy on the horse is striking. "Our God is the small Girl who hides / under beds when yelling strikes. / When She cries, we wait for Her / and hope the weather calms" and then "How to beg for a new purpose / while I lay stuck in Her childhood" reminds me of Ethel Cain's music (not sure if you've listened to her but I think you'd like her style and the southern gothic/grappling with religion themes). Thank you for sharing this piece!
I like the message of this piece and the theme of resilience even in difficult moments. It's easy to give up when you're broken, sad, lonely, tired, scared, etc but it's so powerful to push through and still be whole, as you wrote. For me, finding reasons to still be happy and feel like myself comes when I'm with my friends or doing other things I love (like writing!). Thank you for sharing this!
I really like the imagery in this poem! You have some great descriptors and comparisons, like the terrible sea, the quick sand, and the cold icy snow. This reminds me a lot of Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44885/annabel-lee. Thank you for sharing!
I feel this way all the time and I get the ick from my writing a lot. When you're a perfectionist it's hard to get through writer's block/feeling like your writing isn't good. If I'm feeling unmotivated or icky with my writing I like to read whatever I'm drawn to (sometimes poetry, sometimes fiction) and see if any themes inspire me. Also, I took a writing class this summer and we read Bird by Bird (by Anne Lamott) which was such a good read and super helpful in mindset/motivation towards writing!
I totally do this! Especially when I listen to Phoebe Bridgers/Boygenius/Mitski who all have very poetic lyrics that can double as poems. It's fun to experiment with your writing and see how you could add a musical aspect to it - also reminds me of some spoken word poems I saw a while ago that incorporated songs mid-poem (I think it was Sarah Kay).
Hello, Amelia! And thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I appreciate how you put examples of what you felt about writing.
I do the same exact things to my writings, cause well, I like showing my siblings or my parents what I’ve made or even that I got on the front page. So when I don’t for months on end because I’ve felt uninspired makes me feel I’m not good enough.
Thank you so so much, Iris!!
The sound patterns in this piece are so cool! The alliteration of "monochrome metronome," "clockwork clicking" and "creaking cogs" mimics the initial "tick-tick-tick" sound of the metronome/clock. I like how the title sets the stage for the poem and the idea of this ballerina that's trapped in a music box moving to the same song over and over again, even though she's anxious. Thank you for sharing!
This really is the worst feeling - when you feel such strong feelings for someone else but it's not reciprocated (and it feels like betrayal too). You've captured this well, and the tears and tiredness of never getting/feeling what you want. Thank you for sharing - keep writing!
Ooh I love this! The juxtaposition between the softness of the stuffed bunny heart and the roughnesss/toughness of the toy cowboy on the horse is striking. "Our God is the small Girl who hides / under beds when yelling strikes. / When She cries, we wait for Her / and hope the weather calms" and then "How to beg for a new purpose / while I lay stuck in Her childhood" reminds me of Ethel Cain's music (not sure if you've listened to her but I think you'd like her style and the southern gothic/grappling with religion themes). Thank you for sharing this piece!
Thank you so much! <3
I like the message of this piece and the theme of resilience even in difficult moments. It's easy to give up when you're broken, sad, lonely, tired, scared, etc but it's so powerful to push through and still be whole, as you wrote. For me, finding reasons to still be happy and feel like myself comes when I'm with my friends or doing other things I love (like writing!). Thank you for sharing this!
I really like the imagery in this poem! You have some great descriptors and comparisons, like the terrible sea, the quick sand, and the cold icy snow. This reminds me a lot of Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44885/annabel-lee. Thank you for sharing!
I feel this way all the time and I get the ick from my writing a lot. When you're a perfectionist it's hard to get through writer's block/feeling like your writing isn't good. If I'm feeling unmotivated or icky with my writing I like to read whatever I'm drawn to (sometimes poetry, sometimes fiction) and see if any themes inspire me. Also, I took a writing class this summer and we read Bird by Bird (by Anne Lamott) which was such a good read and super helpful in mindset/motivation towards writing!
I totally do this! Especially when I listen to Phoebe Bridgers/Boygenius/Mitski who all have very poetic lyrics that can double as poems. It's fun to experiment with your writing and see how you could add a musical aspect to it - also reminds me of some spoken word poems I saw a while ago that incorporated songs mid-poem (I think it was Sarah Kay).
Hello, Amelia! And thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I appreciate how you put examples of what you felt about writing.
I do the same exact things to my writings, cause well, I like showing my siblings or my parents what I’ve made or even that I got on the front page. So when I don’t for months on end because I’ve felt uninspired makes me feel I’m not good enough.
Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day! <3