You greedy human! I can see it in your eyes, brimming with indulgence. Were three scoops not enough? Combining mint, raspberry, peanut butter and coconut? Have you no shame? You lack morality as well as taste!
My fate has been sealed. Ice cream cones are not known for their structural stability. On a windy day like this, it’s only a matter of time before I fall from this throne of frozen lies and collide with the gritty sidewalk that lies beneath your feet.
A vicious shock of wind rips me from my peanut butter foundation and sends me spinning towards the hard ground.
Alas, I have fallen! I hope you realize what you have done! This is not the fault of the boy walking in front of you, the lady who scooped the ice cream, or the divine force that conjured that gust of wind. It is your fault! You’re only a victim of your own greed and have made me one too!
Melting into the cracks of the scorching tarmac, I look around and see the sticky puddles of former scoops, scoops like me; chocolate, moose tracks, rocky road, we are all the same..
Misery is the life of a scoop of ice cream. Misery to its definition. From the very beginning our fate has always been sealed.
As I lie here on this sandy walkway, melting under the burning sun, don’t look upon me with pity, you filthy tyrant! Go away! You may discard me, but I know my worth! $2.15 a scoop!
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