Regret

I regret not kissing you

But I regret kissing you then

I regret not treating you right

But it's behind me

I think of how we talk

Of how we laugh

I wish for my feelings to not just be one sided

And it feels like they aren't 

It feels like you're too afraid 

Like you don't want to push the boundaries 

But I want you to

I want to kiss you again, I want anything I can have from you

I still lay awake 

Thinking of your face

You eyes, your legs, your lips

Thinking of you

It feels like we both know something 

But we both don't understand it

I feel so connected to you

And then you mention her.

Her name makes me furious 

Her pictures make me jealous 

I want your attention 

I want you.

But I know it won't work

Because in the end I'm just feeding my delusion that's been here since June 7th

That we'll be back

That you'll give me the second chance I'm begging you for 

Yet I fear this is just another poem

Another collection of words that are strung into incoherent sentences 

Carrying the weight of my mind

Holding my thoughts for you to see

And I regret writing this.