Let the ocean

After all this

The shame

The guilt 

The tear between friends

The loss of sleep

The burning of bridges

I still love you

I sit feeling my chest

Close in 

Tightening 

Coiling 

Around the hope that your still here

I dream that you still care

That all that I have done 

and

You still love me

I feel like a sunny day on the beach

Pulled down by the waves

They crash in on you

Down on you

Ripping at your lungs

Blocking off your air

They peel off your skin and smother you

Even when you are little 

you cling on 

You out way the pros to the cons

The sun that bathes you

The blue that becomes your bones

The salt foam like the bubbling of your heart 

You still get back up

Over and over

Allowing the ocean to over take you

Your pride to strong to let you stop

Until your mom calls you in 

your toes wrinkled 

Your hair tangled

Your muscles overthrown

Over tired 

To the point that you can’t stand

I still stand up

I look over the horizon

Again and again 

Waiting for the next wave to hit me

Not bearing to be torn from the sea

Me a naive child 

Holding on for life 

To the hope that we can have

To the joy you fill me with

You the sea that loves me 

just as much as I love you

But my connection to you brings the waves

Over and over again

I can’t avoid them 

I stand only to be knocked down

Burning my toes in the sand

Worshiping the gentile blue of the water

Until I am dragged back 

Without the ability to keep going

How I wish the sea would pull me back

Drag me 

Love me

Smother me

Until I don’t have to think of this again 

I’ll drown in your waves 

I’ll breathe you in 

For I am a hopeless romantic 

I keep trying only to bring me pain and loss

Save me 

Drown me

Kill me

I can’t stand here any longer

I am over tired

An I fall to the ocean floor

I give up

Let the ocean do what it wants with me.