I love love LOVE the capitals at the end of some of the lines and making some of them all capital. It makes everything feel important and like it is a formula to becoming a writer.
The use of juxtaposition with the night and day chasing each other helps the poem flow and convey its meaning. I also liked the personification of the season and how you paired them. Almost like lost friends.
You write with the descriptive power of a novelist, truly setting this scene for us. It's not just easy to picture your graveyard but easy to elaborate on that picture, let myself as a reader be carried away by it, get lost in it. That there is no central action occurring in your story rather seems to fit your writing style, which naturally lends itself to the more contemplative tone and eerie musings it takes on at the end.
I read The Yellow Wallpaper in high school, and again in college -- it was one of my favorites! If I remember correctly, I even included it in a paper about some other early feminist works (Susan Glaspell's "Trifles," which I always highly recommend to people, along with Gilman's "Herland"). This piece captured the theme of the original short story well, while being a little more sharpened in its tone, so I love that you found that fresh inspiration in it that could lead you to this!
You have uplifted me! I thought this was likely to take a downward turn at the end, citing how dark events of our recent past would next go down in history, but instead you left me feeling a touch more optimistic. I'm grateful for that. And your rhyming scheme is exceptional!
I love love LOVE the capitals at the end of some of the lines and making some of them all capital. It makes everything feel important and like it is a formula to becoming a writer.
I love the repetitiveness of "I gave myself an A" I feel like it helped keep the rhythm of the poem.
Thank you!
The use of juxtaposition with the night and day chasing each other helps the poem flow and convey its meaning. I also liked the personification of the season and how you paired them. Almost like lost friends.
Thank you!!
You write with the descriptive power of a novelist, truly setting this scene for us. It's not just easy to picture your graveyard but easy to elaborate on that picture, let myself as a reader be carried away by it, get lost in it. That there is no central action occurring in your story rather seems to fit your writing style, which naturally lends itself to the more contemplative tone and eerie musings it takes on at the end.
I read The Yellow Wallpaper in high school, and again in college -- it was one of my favorites! If I remember correctly, I even included it in a paper about some other early feminist works (Susan Glaspell's "Trifles," which I always highly recommend to people, along with Gilman's "Herland"). This piece captured the theme of the original short story well, while being a little more sharpened in its tone, so I love that you found that fresh inspiration in it that could lead you to this!
Thank you, that means a lot!
"I wrote it using nothing
and something,
and a mix of these things" - love this so much!
You have uplifted me! I thought this was likely to take a downward turn at the end, citing how dark events of our recent past would next go down in history, but instead you left me feeling a touch more optimistic. I'm grateful for that. And your rhyming scheme is exceptional!