So atmospheric! You've really captured the essence of fall, its yin and yang, both its light and dark extremes, while still maintaining a sense of lightness and whimsy. Using "savor" in the last line after making references to ice cream and cooking ties it all together.
I don't think you scrambled too many thoughts! Your poem follows a logical flow from when you were young to where you are now, and who you want to be. If you want to draw it all together more succinctly, you could introduce a piece of your last stanza, about wanting to live with no regrets, earlier in the poem, maybe. (P.S. Short girls unite!)
I was reading a lot of poems on YWP and I'm in awe of how so many of you put things, I think of all the time, into words. I tried doing the same here. But, I'm worried I scrambled too many different thoughts all into one. Do you guys have any suggestions on how to make my poem better? Thanks!
I love this idea of wanting to like someone but also not liking certain aspects of them...that you also do like in a way? Idk, it's complicated, but you wrote about it so well! Also I totally relate lol
The color of the bark appears almost black against the brightness of the yellow, making for such a striking contrast! Is amarillo the type of tree?
So atmospheric! You've really captured the essence of fall, its yin and yang, both its light and dark extremes, while still maintaining a sense of lightness and whimsy. Using "savor" in the last line after making references to ice cream and cooking ties it all together.
I don't think you scrambled too many thoughts! Your poem follows a logical flow from when you were young to where you are now, and who you want to be. If you want to draw it all together more succinctly, you could introduce a piece of your last stanza, about wanting to live with no regrets, earlier in the poem, maybe. (P.S. Short girls unite!)
Love the color contrast between the tree and wall!!
thank you!!
This is simply awesome
Hi Guys! These are my thoughts on life, haha
I was reading a lot of poems on YWP and I'm in awe of how so many of you put things, I think of all the time, into words. I tried doing the same here. But, I'm worried I scrambled too many different thoughts all into one. Do you guys have any suggestions on how to make my poem better? Thanks!
Thank you!
Thank you! It's really confusing lol!
I love this idea of wanting to like someone but also not liking certain aspects of them...that you also do like in a way? Idk, it's complicated, but you wrote about it so well! Also I totally relate lol