Lulu_D

My babysitter,

Brother,

Sister,

And I,

Huddle on the green couch.

Her laptop,

Shiny silver,

Is opened

A blank canvas, 

Not a scratch to see, 

Not even white 

Just  

Nothingness. 

But then 

One day  

It's endless,

The loop of love. 

I fall into it once,

And it feels like I'll never escape. 

It's like I'm tied to myself,

Suffocating in thousands of knots,

Tied by you. 

You've left me alone

But the world keeps on spinning

I am bleeding endlessly.

And I don’t know what to do.

I forget the color of your eyes

And the smell of your mountain breath.

For every word I can’t say,

I try to write it down,

but at the end of the day,

I know I’ll never find the words.

They jumble together,

like the sunset’s melting colors.

For every excuse I make,

We call it: “catastrophe,” as if —  it is different.

A child nursed of negligence.

Yes, it is not ours —