It's the cat

Why I hate masks.
Because even though you can, actually breathe,
It still feels like you can't.
It traps me,
Keeping my face from the sun,
And letting me panic in a constant state of not being okay.

I was falling,
Fast, but in slow motion,
Realizng everything I was missing.
And they were busy.
So they didn't think to say hi,
And so I fell faster.
And then suddenly,
at the very end,

Invisibility.
The child known as former me always wanted that as her super power.
But now,
I just feel,
Invisible.
They're all to busy,
And I get it.
I'm almost all grown up,
I don't need as much attention.

Sometimes,
I just want to skip the directions of life.
Go right to the game,
No tutorial needed.
I know I'll regret it later,
But I just don't want to be told what to do,
And how to do it.
Sometimes,
I dream,

Here is a letter to you,
One you will never see.

Dear little she,
I'm so sorry about everything.
I wish I could have told you sooner,
But it wasn't mine to tell.
My sweet girl,

There's not really one single word,
To explain how I'm feeling.
It's just a misty dampness,
Hovering on my shoulders,
A constant news channel,
Broadcasting everything I have to do.
A never ending question.
A look of worry.