Coco

“Stop being a nerd”

“You’re the smartest kid in the grade”

“You’re a child prodigy”

“You’re an academic weapon”

Okay.

Fine.

Maybe I am.

But 

My grades

or winning a kahoot

The days I wake up

and fall asleep

and move through the world

tired and clumsy,

it is hard to know the truths

of what I am grateful for.

Those days,

I am grateful not for winter,

I don’t like my name

not this one, the one I stole

from a great grandmother

I never met

the one I stole from

an Irish goddess

At school we draw in the margins of our notebook paper

and toy with the idea of moving to Australia. 

We look up the latest news in between classes, knowing that

the teachers will think we're addicted to our phones.

on november first we said

ohgodit'snovemberalreadywheredidallthetimego taking

up all the time in the world with our breath.

on november fifth we said

ohgodpleaseprotectushavemercyonoursins praying