Popcorn

There's a young child sitting on the bench 
Her father sitting next to her 
And they're calm and it's peaceful 

Maybe this is a poem,

And maybe it's just words of love

Spilling endlessly from my thoughts,

Smudging into one on the page.

Today, in the present

Don't focus on the past

Don't think about the future

Focus on right now

Don't think about what happened yesterday or what you're doing tomorrow

Take a deep breath and focus on right now

every day my friend asks me

how many days.

every day my answer shrinks

and we shudder

willing ourselves to believe in light and truth and good

but can't help whispering

I am nauseous, constantly.

There is a Fear deep rooted in me.

My hands no longer shake in tests

the Fear is bigger than tests now

I want to go to college, let me go