What does that say about me?

You shouldn't feel so agitated.
The world is on the verge of breaking and all you do is sit here and imagine a friend who you haven't seen in almost a year coming to stay with you. Over and Over. The same scenarios play in your head - is this freedom?
But how can I ask myself that, when so many people are hurting and screaming for attention and relevance which they deserve. They really do and all I do it tell myself that it's
not
over
yet.
Over and Over and how can I be so quiet?
I tell myself that we as a world will solve this
but
will we really?
I don't want to grow up in a warring world.
I want to be proud of the universe I'm growing up in, and for the most part I am. But that pride doesn't extend universally.
I love my home.
I love my family.
I want to love the world, too, but how can I when all the people in it are turning cold and hard and bitter?
How can I?
The other day I was answering an email from a friend that said something about a Black Lives Matter art project and whether I'd like to join in. I said I really would but I wasn't sure whether I could find the time.
I lied.
I had the time - I have plenty of time!
I'd just forget. I already knew I'd forget.
What does that say about me?
 

Mercury

VT

18 years old

More by Mercury

  • By Mercury

    Union

    Love should be a warm blanket 
    not a dance over hot coals, crumbs in your bedsheets 
    or threatening glances
    And if it is a dance, let it be one 
    where I am yours and you belong to me. 
  • Who am I

    (spoken word performance)

    I once described myself as a river
    I flow, I change, I fill spaces the way that they need to be filled. 
    I am like a tree, reaching my roots into the ground, the dirt sliding up my skin

  • Storm Warning

    (meant to be read out loud) 


    It came when I didn't expect it, and it cried 
    Like a child, it screamed longer than it should've 
    and I couldn't ignore it, nobody could