Rookie

He said please come down—a story and another building away. 

I was scared, but still, he wanted me.

He said he's been waiting almost a year for me.

I knew I could get caught, but still, he wanted me.

I won't deflect and say I didn't want to, because I did.

So I did.

In the room with him, I lay down.

He pulled my layers off—my nerves were shot and I went along.

I made no judgment for myself.

Was love really like this? Or was it no longer? 

Was my love tainted? Had I ruined it thus far?

He said "My turn." and I didn't question. Hey, it was only fair.

When it was over, he said nothing else, and nothing again.

Even now, I'm a rookie, and maybe even a slut.

But see, I've been through this one too many times to claim that I am not.

When someone else wants to hold me, hell, maybe I'll just give in.

I have nothing else to lose, nothing I'm going to win.

If someone asks me to see them, what happens?

I'll still be scared, but still, they'll want me.

Ze Loveprál