Rookie

He said please come down—a story and another building away. 

I was scared, but still, he wanted me.

He said he's been waiting almost a year for me.

I knew I could get caught, but still, he wanted me.

I won't deflect and say I didn't want to, because I did.

So I did.

In the room with him, I lay down.

He pulled my layers off—my nerves were shot and I went along.

I made no judgment for myself.

Was love really like this? Or was it no longer? 

Was my love tainted? Had I ruined it thus far?

He said "My turn." and I didn't question. Hey, it was only fair.

When it was over, he said nothing else, and nothing again.

Even now, I'm a rookie, and maybe even a slut.

But see, I've been through this one too many times to claim that I am not.

When someone else wants to hold me, hell, maybe I'll just give in.

I have nothing else to lose, nothing I'm going to win.

If someone asks me to see them, what happens?

I'll still be scared, but still, they'll want me.

 

Ze Loveprál

zelovepral

TX

17 years old

More by zelovepral

  • Immortality

    I could not live forever. 

    There is a point where one stops living, and either dies or waits to die.

    Immortality has been a terror for me since I could read. 

  • I Called Her

         Sarah made grunting noises as we passed the deli, I asked her why, yet she didn't answer me. It’s almost as if we’re tense every time we walk downtown.