MY NAME

Noah. Noah. 4 letters, two syllables, sweet and simple like a shortcake. This is the name that my mom decided to choose for me when I came into this world. This is the name that is called out for attendance, where I would proudly shout “here!” This is the name my friends call me by. This is the name that whenever called out is often confused with the word “no.” This is the name that will go down in people’s minds when I introduce myself. This is me, I am Noah. Noble, knowing, nice Noah.

The name Noah represents my mother’s love for whom she wanted her child to be. Noah. The Son of God, Adam, and Eve. The man who put every animal on the land on his ship. The man who saved every animal from the giant flood that threatened his town. In the Bible, Noah was a good man. She believed that I would grow up to be a good man. I’ve yet to believe that may be true. I’ve yet to do the stuff a good man would do daily. I’ve yet to be the man who will work a job. I’ve yet to be the man who will get married and have a family. I’ve yet to be the man who is responsible in his daily life. I’ve yet to be the man who will impact the world by creating an impact the equivalent of a meteor. Nonetheless, I am still Noah. I try to work towards getting a job. I try to work towards the future. I try to work towards being responsible. I may not be there yet, but I will get there. I will become that good man that my mother dreamt of when she married my father. I will become that good man that my mother dreamt of when she gave birth to me in the hospital 16 years ago.

Noah. Smooth like butter being spread across a rough slice of bread. Soft like the fleece that lines your blankets. Rough like coarse hair. My name flows off the tongue as water flows from a waterfall. It feels like a nice, soft, warm blanket covering every part of your body and making you feel warm. It represents nice sunny days at the beach. It represents cold chilly days by the fireplace. It represents the duality of feelings people may experience while saying my name, with the harsh beginning of “no” and the soothing ending of “ah.” My name smells like the downtown streets after a rainy day, with cars zooming across the streets and pedestrians wondering what food they’re going to eat. It is the neon sign that lights up at 3 in the night and despite the power shortages, despite the short circuits, despite the replacement of the electricity, it is still there. It is still there, letting everyone know that despite everything that happens, I am still here. I am still Noah. I am still the boy who grew up in a small town, trying to make a name for himself in a big world. I will be ready to drive down the highway that awaits me, that highway called “life.”

The name Noah makes people happy, like a surprise party for a birthday you didn’t even remember you had. It represents everything in life, from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. It is that orange in the sunset that shines through in the evening sky, over the mountains and the trees despite the mountains blocking off the view. It is that feeling of recurring happiness, knowing that despite all that happens in life that feeling of happiness still is there to provide you joy. That is me. Noah is the one that leaves a good taste in other people’s mouths. It is that sadness of having a relative pass away. It is that thoughtfulness of letting your child run off and leave the bird's nest and fly out into the world. Noah is the one that provides joy to others. Noah is the one that you look at and can’t help but feel excited about seeing. The moment my name is said, people smile. They know it is me. They know who I am. I know who I am. I know who I want to be, and when that day comes, it will be awaiting me, and I will gratefully accept it with open arms and embrace it as tightly as I can and never let it go.

My name is Noah Joel Carmona.