Him

When I close my eyes I always see him...along with our memories
I see his whole 6’ body trying to fit in the playground
I see his hand holding mine when we cross the street
I see his face smiling when reading us bedtime stories 
I see his effort as he tried to give to be a good dad, while dealing with addiction 
I see his body stumbling trying to stay on his feet 
I see his empty beer cans around the house
I see his car leaving the driveway after fights 

Then I think of how it is now...
I never see his beer cans or his stuff 
I never see his car in the driveway
I never see him in the pictures in our hallway
I never see him during plays or concerts 
I never see him at my graduations 

I only see him when...
I see his letters with pictures 
I see him telling us he has cancer 
I see him after surgery not in person 
I see his pictures deep in my moms facebook 
I see his features becoming blurry from how long its been 
I see a stranger, someone I used to call dad
I see him fade out of my life, with me only holding onto memories

 

Kenzie

VT

19 years old

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