Conflicting

Conflicting feelings in my brain

In my heart

As I lay awake,

Not entirely sane.

Conflicting thoughts, all knotted up.

How do I untangle,

Fix what I've lost?

How do I make sense of it?

How do I do it?

Why do I feel so much,

So full like I can't get through it?

My heart is in molasses,

My head up in the starry sky,

But my body's rooted firmly to the ground on which I lie.

I say so many things,

Not all of them true,

Exaggerations, declarations,

As all of us do.

I feel hope. 

I feel love.

I feel power and calm.

I feel beauty.

I feel pain.

I feel everything so strongly.

It all conflicts in the center of me.

My heart and my head

Won't let me be.

What is my future?

What is my past?

Should I right my wrongs, or will

They get tired of that?

I make so many mistakes.

Of course, I am human.

But who am I, really?

What is my truth?

I ask myself these questions,

Lying in bed,

Unsure, scared, and anxious

Of what lies ahead.

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Do You Know

    Do you know how many minutes I save for you

    So we can be together?

    Do you know how it feels

    When you throw them out

    For other things?

    Do you know how it feels

    To never feel like you're good enough

  • Chasing Onwards

    I chase this dream

    With everything I have.

    I want to be with it

    Every step of the way.

    From the moment I first touched it

    To where my fingertips grazed actual possibility

    To where my heart broke