my anxious heart.

my anxious heart,

it haunts me when i finally decide to nod off,

whilst my anxious mind whispers old and embarrassing events,

and eventually i am wide awake again,

bug eyed,

and holding the covers above my head.

my world spins,

when my anxious heart is in control.

my vision is blurry,

when my anxious heart is in control.

my breathing turns shallow,

when my anxious heart is in control.
 

no matter what i do,

my anxious heart never stops.

i try medication,

it never worked.

i try counseling,

maybe it works for a second,

but never forever.

the fidgets i bring to school are stolen from me,

they get played with by my friends,

they pinky promise they'll return them,

but they never do.

i wish i could rip out my anxious heart,

throw it in a ditch,

a far far away ditch,

and never see it again.

i could sleep peacefully,

i could think peacefully,

i could be me peacefully.

nothing will work for my anxious heart,

all i do is breathe,

and tell myself i'll nap when i get home.

and everything will be okay.