star

I walk through my garden in the chilly night air. Shivering, I look longingly back towards my house, wishing I could just grab a cardigan from my room and be done with it.

I look in the mirror,
and I wonder
who the person
staring back
truly is.
I see myself,
the self I've always known.
Yet I wonder,
is this really me?
Is my inside-self
separate from my
outside-self,

you're too young,
they all say.
their voices echo through hallways,
creep into the tiniest
crevices 
of my brain.
you're too young,
you can't be anything,
do anything.
you're so young,

My first year here
in a small town in New Hampshire
on the border of 
a small town in Vermont
was strange
First of all,
covid was
raging
around the world.
We were in person all year
we were lucky

Are you okay?
I couldn't believe it was my voice saying it. My voice, pulling the strings of the universe--or so it felt, back then.