Writing

I'm not drowning in water, but words.

A feeling comparable to what I imagine standing under a waterfall feels like.

The longer you stand there, the more painful and heavy it gets.

I need to write so badly because all this anger and fear are sticking to my skin like an anxiety sweat

and yet I can't seem to make any phrases and stanzas that are understandable outside of my head

The sun is bright and warm against my skin...

The clouds are big and fluffy...

The flowers are just starting to bloom...

The petals are every color you could ever imagine...

Pink, purple, blue....

I’ve always loved

The feeling of falling
 

But being dragged down

Is different
 

Feeling unbalanced

Lost
 

Losing control

As life speeds by
 

Feeling helpless

I hate the way

Skinny is now a synonym for pretty

Pretty a synonym for happy

Happy a synonym for enough

Enough is something we will never be

i sit and stare out the window

stare out the window at the brown dead grass

the dirty snow melting into muddy slush

the mud that is criss-crossed and destroyed with ruts and tire tracks