Ti amo

It’s hard when I never really knew the real you. 
The illness clung to you, pulled you down and you were lost. 
You didn’t know the years of tears that were cried for you. 
It’s easy to miss somebody, especially when I wish that we had more time. 
I don’t remember much from before the cracks in your mind got so big 
That you forgot us. 
Just that year on the porch in the so delicately designed house
With the Hello Kitty cake and candles and light, camera, smiles, Real smiles.
We didn’t know, even though we saw the signs. 
Until it was too late and all we could do was watch. 
It makes me sad because before I even got the chance to know you
It was ripped from my grasp all because of something that we had no control over. 
I won’t lie it was hard that one summer, the last summer, 
You waking up and not knowing us. 
We made the best of it while we helped you eat breakfast.
Then you left but it felt as though you already had before you even got here. 
There were phone calls but even those stuttered to a stop. 
And now you’re gone and I don’t really remember much. 
I know it makes Dad sad that we never really knew you 
And it makes me sad too because I only knew you after It took over your life. 
But I like to imagine you’d be proud of me and that you’d love me
Because even though you're gone and everything happened
I love you and that won’t ever change. 
I appreciate the time I spent with you even if it wasn’t really you. 
Wherever you are, Gramma, I love you. 
And yes I finally did write you that poem.