Tear yourself apart

Tell her that she’s beautiful, 
and watch her smile before 
she devours the compliment up 
lapping at every last honey drop 
at her fingers because she’s 
been starved for so long, 
and what is a girl without 
other people to tell her  
the value that she has? 

Tell her that she’s skinny 
and she will beam before 
looking in the mirror and tracing 
the outline of her ribs with 
her paper fingers, half human 
half ghost, so thin she’s almost gone
hunger was never beautiful, 
this animal eating her up from inside. 

Tell her that she’s hot and 
look at her short skirt like it’s 
the only part of her that matters and she’ll 
shoot you a grin before tugging down 
her dress as a sense of anxiety creeps 
in her mind because everyone knows 
what happens to girls with too-short dresses
walking alone at night, 
grips her keys between her fingers and 
holds them tight. 

Tell her that she’s being 
too emotional, that she just needs to 
calm down and she will clench her fist 
and slowly listen to the breath 
filling up her lungs and smile, 
because girls with anger are easily dismissed, 
because any sign of emotions will 
get you laughed at but be serious and they 
will call you soulless so she goes back
to balancing her personality on a knife’s edge. 

Tell her that she wouldn’t understand
and turn away so you don’t see the rage slowly 
filling up her eyes until she’s almost blind,
because you could have had a mind filled 
with the most beautiful things but now you’ve
got yourself an enemy that knows how 
to hide all her thoughts behind a demure smile
as she stabs you in the back because little girls
are trained in the art of lying and 
sabotage from the moment they step in school. 

Tell her that she’s everything you ever needed 
and she’ll beam like the sun, but she 
won’t ever know that human beings should never 
be needed like water, or food, or shelter, 
it is not your responsibility to keep someone alive, 
she should be wanted, like something sweet you 
can’t quite resist, but she’ll let you 
pull her down with you because she’s been taught 
that this is right,

Tell her that she’s not like other girls 
and she will feel a moment of pride, because 
that’s the highest compliment you can get, isn’t it, 
you have that body of a girl, but you aren’t one, 
so she’ll try to squeeze herself into a box for you, 
try to grow all the hard edges for you, because 
if you’re not like the other girls, you don’t let 
yourself grow soft like all the other you disdain, 
she’ll press herself in for a lifetime if she needs to 
just to gain your approval, 

Tell her, 
tell her, 
tell her, 

And watch as she dies with each little one, 
you can find her in the way she’s a little hunched over, 
you can find her in bruised up knuckles, 
you can find her in wide and terrified eyes, 
you can find her in little white-lies, 

We tear ourselves apart to satisfy
the world
turned inside out, 
hollow on the inside. 

One day you’ll tell her she’s beautiful, 
and she won’t even care, 
and that’ll be the best day of her life.

Nightheart

VT

19 years old

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