in so deep

you're in too deep
i tell myself
yet day after day
i feel myself falling deeper
                                         deeper 
                                                    deeper
you need to stop
i tell myself
but when my mind wanders
it wanders to you
and when i fall asleep 
you're the last thing
i think about
i can't seem to stop

you need to distract yourself
i tell myself
so i write poems
that i say arent about you
but i know they are
and i read romance books
which doesn't help at all

you're there in the small cracks in my mind
creeping in ever so slowly
until it starts to feel like you've always been there
and i don’t want you to leave