Shirt shopping

I was buying a shirt
nothing terribly
life changing
or important
one design
two styles
men's and
women's
and it seemed 
quite normal that
the shirts would be different
proportions
yet nothing gave reason
to the low neckline
on the women's shirt
it is hard to write a poem
to explain how 
unsettling that was for me
how I was supposed
to want such a shirt
such a neckline
and that they took the 
liberty
to say it was a 
women's shirt
supposedly
and while I had 
been sleeping
they had decided
what I liked
what I was
who I would be
and like a braid
unravelling 
I lost my choice
along with my
naive placidness
pebbles
sending waves
on that once
calm surface
and I don't want to make
a fuss
but as I walked 
in the dark
I stumbled
and found a tug
on the back of 
my neck
and the leash I
never knew existed
suddenly 
made it unbearable
to not notice
and the shirt 
trembled with expectations
was it not only my choice
but my duty
I am who you say I am
I am who you say I am
but the braid stopped
its savage unwinding
and in the dark
I waved my hands 
till I found the leash
I am not who you say I am
I am not who you say I am
and with the women's 
neckline smiling
the one I was
supposed
to buy
I bought the men's shirt