Restless, alone,
in my cold bedroom
Where piles of dirty, laundry, and
untouched dust lay
waiting for someone to remove
But why remove dust if no one will come,
why pick up the clothes if no one will see them
All my friends have gone
I'm the only one here, I'm all alone
So why move, why try to lift myself
from bed, why try to fight the weight
in my soul
Maybe I deserve to be alone
Why postpone my inevitable end,
unbeknown I could have flown, to the
Eiffel Tower and bound off the edge
Falling into the depths
But you know,
how could I do all that,
when times blur in my mind
When was the last time
food touched my lips or
water rolled down my spine
A day or two ago
Nonetheless I have to get up
Not far just a few steps
to the book at the other end of my room
But that book is my savior, it's Pages filled with words
about magical lands and adventures with friends,
filling my head with hope for the day ahead
Water running down my back,
the heat cleansing my dirty skin helping me get ready again
Pulling sock on one after the other
Shoe after shoe I step outside
where I take a gasp of air,
feeling the sun on my face
Breeze through my hair relaxed and satisfied
at least until that fear came again in a swarm
Taking a breath I think who would
soothe the blue
The women with purple shoes at the school
The one who raised and fed me
Maybe that person, that one person I trust
The therapist who could stare in my eyes,
in my soul and read my thoughts,
tell me how to take control
He could do what I need, what I pleaded for,
and finally peace
Taking the stroll back home
putting everything in my mind to rest
Kicking of my shoes, off I skip
into that small bedroom
filled with scents of apples and spice
from the candle that burned at my bedside
I’m home peaceful and whole
I take a deep breath and can sleep again.
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