Me, the most successful immigrant

"Why doesn't she speak it?" scoffs the nail salon lady. I poke through the dried leaves of my mother tongue. I open my mouth, and close it. The silence swells, a bullfrog, broken by the croak of a fake laugh from my mother.

My search history, an hour later:
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how to do filipino accent

Mabuhay. Mah-boo-hay. Whitened syllables. Clumsy tongue rolls. My 'Filipino accent' flops to the floor and oozes.

Eventually, you reach a point.