let me learn (how to be kind)

I wish that my hands were softer 
meant for holding and loving, the way 
my mother's do. 

I wish that my tongue were not so sharp 
carelessly, unthinkingly cruel, 
that I did not mean to hurt them with what I said. 

I wish that I did not scream when the world 
turned against me, heart hammering through my ribs 
because I hurt, I claw my own skin off, 
I hurt others because I don't know where else to put this pain. 

I wish it was easy to be kind. 

Pick myself off the ground. Breathe, settle my feet in this dirt. Again, I say. Again. 

I can learn how to be kind. I can learn to love the way my family loves me, sweetly, patiently, unconditionally. I can learn how to forgive myself for all I have done because I am heartbreakingly human, because I did my best, I still will, and that's enough. That's enough. 

Listen. 

Things are going to be okay. 

yejunee

FL

18 years old

More by yejunee

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    the snake is hungry 

    so the snake will eat 

    and eat it does, chewing, gnawing, 

    and will you ever notice, little thing, 

    that it is your own tail 

    you are swallowing? 

     

  • abalone

    from salt and foam and scales 

    steal the hearts of stone 

    nacreous shells, dying husks, 

    the honey-sweet flesh that once 

    clung to its bones 

    to die of thirst. 

  • eschatology

    meet me at the end of the world 

    the space between firestorms and tsunamis 

    across the acid oceans 

    and here, where the rot 

    has begun to reclaim the cities at last.