hot room

*crosses legs*
two chairs facing each other
is my greatest fear,
trying to fix my hair
without seeming petty,
trying to fold my arms
without nervously tieing 
them around my torso.
my fingers are a hot mess of worms
sweating along the creases
but I'll deal with them later
I keep track of the words I have said
because I can only use them once
*uncrosses and recrosses legs*
I stare right into your blue
hole-punched eyes
and I feel a sense of pride
when you break first, 
I ball my fists
cool fingertips and heated palms
and count the times you flinch
as you lift your face again
and find me still staring
it is my only victory in this
hot room
*uncrosses and recrosses legs*
I tuck my shoulder blades behind me
like falcon wings
I hope I look like an apex predator
I hope you can't tell how tense I am
I hope you can't tell I am running out of words
but most of all 
I hope you feel small
very small
I try untangling my fingers
and forming a pyramid
but it crumbles into two neat piles
crisscrossing each other
I am fine with that 
the room is too hot now
but I make no sign I am uncomfortable
because I am already feeling larger
and you look quite small 
over there
*uncrosses and recrosses legs*
you conclude in a hurry 
and thank me for coming,
about time, 
I was just beginning to lose track
of the words I have said