Heaven

Go 

By Natalie Snider 
If I was to go anywhere I would go to heaven, so I could see my Great Grandmother (Gigi). Gigi was one of the best Great Grandmothers you could ever have. I remember if I were having a bad day, I would ask my mom if she could give me Gigi’s phone number. She said yes most of the time. So I would call her and tell what was wrong and she would find some way to make me happy. I don’t know how she did it, but she just had her ways. 

When I went over to her apartment she would tell me the latest school shootings and how they had impacted that school. She said that if that ever happened to me that she would be there to comfort me. Whenever I wanted to go have a sleepover with her she would always say, “Of course you can come over, you don't have to ask.” She brought me anywhere I wanted to go. She let me have coffee, lucky charms, fruit roll ups and gushers. One of my favorite things that she said was, “ I will never put my money in banks, they will rob you and take all your money.” So she kept it in a drawer in her apartment. 

One of the hardest parts for me was when she was sick with cancer that had taken over her body; she was as white as a ghost. She got worse and worse as the days went on. It was really hard for me to watch this and know that there was nothing else I could do but watch her get worse. I went to go see her as much as I could. It was especially hard to see her on all the medication that made her not remember things. Once I walked out of the building, I started to cry–– every time. November 14, 2017was the hardest day of my life. My dad picked me up from practice and said are you able to hear some bad news?'' I said, “Yes.” He said, “ Gigi died.” I could not stop crying. The hardest part is losing someone that you loved so much. When you love someone so much and you know that they are gone forever and there is nothing that you can do about it. She was the best Gigi anyone could ever have. I feel like I don't have that “hotline” anymore. Everyone has these people in their life and they know that it will happen eventually, but then in the moment you can't handle it anymore. For me it made me feel a little guilty because I blamed it on myself, even though I knew that it was not my fault. For me it felt like I lost a part of myself that day and I will never forget that day.