Goldfinch (Champagne Problems)

my trembling, bleeding hands hold
Chipped champagne glasses,
every fallen shard a fortune.

I look through the glass
and your eyes are distorted:
blue-green piercing
a jagged kaleidoscope,
cruelly somehow both condeming and admiring
this metaphor for all my faults--

a broken whirlwind,
mind spinning, 
but my gaze has
never
been so focused
as through this
expensive
crystal clarity

forget the 
engagement party,
forget the flowy white tablecloths
with satin champagne bows,
the strangers talking
expecting
everywhere
watching

ironically,
i feel quite alone,

it's only
you and
me,

well,
me and those
piercing blue
streaks
daggers
straight into my
staggering heart

why do you glower
at those glasses,
with no reaction
to the tears falling
on my bleeding, shaking hands

heartbeats quicken,
deer in headlights;
the first step is 
always the hardest,
but
GO

i'm running
running
i'm no 
Cinderella, but
my shoes fly off
my untamed feet

you haven't claimed me
yet,
i'm still free,

and i saw your cage
as my protection,
but the bars don't seem
so beautiful now,

now that the little perch
holds fast to my feet,
and that little mirror
can only seem to point out
what's wrong with me,
and i saw no lock
until i realized
you never intended
that freedom ever be
an option

i run away,
i fly away;
let my wings find new direction,
and leave you far behind me.

take me
far away from
your long-coveted champagne glasses,
your perfect wedding,
your flimsy idea of what gives me transient worth.

I care nothing for gilded cages
when I can love myself
for free.