forgiveness

Sometimes you fall
into a pit
and you don't know how to get out.
Sometimes you think
everything you do
is wrong.
What do other people think?
Why can't you do anything right?
Sometimes you just can't understand something
everyone else can.
Sometimes it seems that everyone
is on the right path,
and are getting to where they want to go,
but you.

Why is it so hard?
you ask as you clench
and unclench
your strained fists
and lean your head up against the wall
or tuck your knees against your chest,
and lower your head.
What is wrong with me?
Why should I try anyway?

And try as you might,
though you run your mind
around in circles,
you just don't know.

How do some people
seem to understand the world so well?
What makes them so sure of themselves?
What makes them beautiful,
confident,
strong.
So strong,
they can take on the world,
and win. 
Some people can be pushed down,
again and again,
and still rise
continually,
ever upward.
What is their secret?

And as your mind flits
this way and that,
there comes a single word,
a light in the darkness.
Not the answer,
but a start.
A step up the long, dark, staircase.

Forgiveness

Yes, it is just a start,
there can never be just one answer,
can there?
But in order to rise,
you need to forgive yourself
for having fallen in the first place. 
You cannot be expected to have come into this world
already knowing everything there is to know.
You cannot be perfect all the time,
Sometimes, you cannot even be good,
try as you might.

And as you begin to realize this,
a long carried burden
starts to slide off you shoulders
and the lead in the bottom of your stomach,
which has accompanied you
for a long time now,
slowly evaporates,
and you begin your ascent,
rising ever upward,
to the sky.