Dining Room

And I shall lay siege to your dining halls
With crossbows and axes and fierce bayonets
I shall quiver the jelly and thicken the gravy 
And I solemnly swear to stir the pot
No more "fashionably late" for we will all be violently early
I shall talk politics with the grandfathers
Throw peas with the children and chastise the parents like a young children's teacher
I shall slay all your manners with vicious delight
We will drink red with the fish and dessert will be served cold and promptly
The forks are on the left
All the better to scrape you with my dear
And I shall slurp with reckless abandon until your eardrums blister and burst
And I shall use the soup spoon for the appetizer course and the steak knife for the quail
Until your puffy cheeks are red and your greasy knuckles are clenched tight and bright
I'll pull my portion of the tablecloth until it's so much bigger and better than yours
And the hellhounds under the table shall nick your heels and prick your ankles
I will arm myself with retorts and attack with quips hurtled like throwing stars
And you will sit in shock as your comrades fall with you 
One by one
The tea shall be cold and the water shall be hot
And everyone used to simmering sweetly will finally boil and crack