Counting By Thousands

I've given up counting.
I can't do it anymore.
Statistics
Days
Minuets 
People.
I've stopped ticking each one of my finger.
I've stopped listing numbers in my head,
Because at this point its just words
Hundreds,
Thousands
Billion.
I can't sit and mark off how many days are left,
I can't keep adding and subtracting 
this monumental problem,
like those cheesy word problems in the math workbooks;
How many watermellons did Mark buy all togther?
How many people survived?
How many people didn't?
Put your answer here ____
I refuse.
Questions,
No answeres.
Jokes,
Hidden worries.
Masks,
Small comfort.
Laugheter,
Few and treasured.
I don't want to know anymore.
I don't want to read those numbers any longer
Counting by tens of thousands makes my head explode
And reminds me of the ever expanding numbers
they blow up in my face.
In everyones face
The numbers exploded two months ago.
And we are left to count broken shards.
I'm tired of adding.
And waiting.
And sighing.
And looking at graphs and curves
Boy am I a done with watermellons.
Too many people to subtract.
Too many zeros,
Not enough lives
Counting days
With a sour lemon
Counting billions
With a metalic taste. 
I am no longer counting numbers.
Enough.
Now I'm only counting on hope.