constituency

i dont even like you that much 
as a person or as a lover

it's only that you understand me. 
so you are closer than anyone else.

im so afraid of hurting people.
im so afraid of my unwillingness to let go of you in the ways that i can.

i am so frustrated and greatful and devastated and infuriated that you can never not be a part of my life
i feel like we will die together

your so deeply rooted in every singe problem and promise
i have ever had or made

i didnt even realize it.
i never do.

and i only see your significance
when i'm left stripped of any distraction

left to writhe
bereft before your carefully constructed constituency

its like a punishment.
why cant i see past you? 
 

bugss

NY

YWP Alumni

More by bugss

  • By bugss

    Bicycle

    We ride our bikes into the brush 
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    that next grace 
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  • By bugss

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    i am trapped in that broken state of consciousness
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    where the rest and rem comes from a deeper sort of aching need 
    fullfilled
    in the early hours of time

    branches shift against your window,