Comfort, Patience, You.

each tuft of fluff
that sprouts from this fabric 
shrouding my bent over shoulders 
as I cradle this softly glowing screen 
and merge my mind with the rhythmic click 
of the keys 
the rain on the roof outside my window is still audible 
Above the melancholy melodies 
playing over and over in my headphones 
comfort is the safety of regularity 
but the excitement of cautious exploration 
comfort is the knew the old the everything, 
that I feel myself falling into 
addicted to the way my soul is plummeting
down down 
the wonder is wrapped around me 
floating in a serene sea 
comfort is eyes-closed falling into your arms 
knowing you will lift me up and again, 
rest your hand on the top of my head  
gentle love  
I am still bruised  
from hitting my head and laughing it off 
comfort is warm broth 
trickling down my throat 
a hot pattern I can follow in my mind
through my chest 
and the sound of sad french songs 
with piano playing in the background
comfort is the lapse between escaping fear 
and seeking adventure  
Comfort
is crying into your t-shirt knowing you will kiss me just as much  
with puffy eyes and a sad smile 
comfort is the something 
in between nothing and what I don't like 
comfort 
is your eyes 
when you smile softly 
comfort 
is the stained red apron I share with my mother 
and the scent of bread that saturates my hands 
and bathes me in a warm haze 
comfort 
is each moment I can find something to love  
more than I feel hurt 
by each second I spend hating myself.