battle wounds

oh, how hard it is to watch them

                                               knees pressed to the ground, eyes red

how could i have let you down? i 

don’t know what to think- nausea and guilt are synonymous-  have i done all

           i could? was there something more? god, i'm 

sorry. so sorry. 

                    you hug me, and i can feel you shaking. i wonder if i could ever be as strong as you. 

(you seem to think i
             already am.)

it’s time to leave now. the home we’ve known for two months, the one we fought so hard for, is no longer a place for us to stay. atleast, at least i

will get to go back. most of us will, but you, you all-

                 will move on.

and i’ll see us all in the hallways, grocery store parking lots, passing assemblies, and 
           briefly, in the touch of a smile, we’ll remember what it was like, home. how it felt to be so loved. 

though, i despise the inevitability of forgetting- it aches, and such is the price of devotion

             i couldn’t imagine existing with out, but to wash the dirt from my elbows and knees 
        feels to wash the memories away, too, and so i delay it. 

beyond it all;

                  one of the biggest tragedies in life is that we’ll never know how much we’re cared for; i see that now. i hope you do, too. 

i wish we could have given you more. we all do. 

                                                                                             (and one day, it’s all just another scar.)

thank you.