Anxiety Again

Like weeks-old chipping nail polish 
I cling 
to my fears with one arm 
the other grasping for a foothold to help 
trying to find stability 
unsure if I'm actually going to let go 
of my pain 
or if I'll bring it closer to my throbbing heart 
unconsiously melding with it 
so used to the weights it lays upon me 
I'll be shaking and numb constantly 
already suffering from the millions 
of welts across my battered body 
each one from anxiety pulling me 
into a deadly embrace. 
And yet my eyes are dry 
the tears already spent 
all I want is to rest my aching eyes 
from catastrophy.