And there

Autumn city streets line my mind, you are silver next to me, a reflection…

Falling leaves send me flashes, everything wanted leaves me pacing, breathless, missing something I do not have …

I love going places, anywhere, did you know that? Take me out west, by car or train, get there fast together, let’s disappear …

2 am and I’m wide awake, window wide open, crisp air prickling the bad dreams on my skin …

There’s an apartment painted blue in the corner of my vision, twisted iron railings and a 7 pm orange toned sky …

Ask me about Hope and I will tell you quiet walks, little half smiles, and what only the moon has seen …

I remember when it was time and so I went, hoping this time it would be different and knowing that it would be hard …

They keep saying they’re taking down the fire tower, I can’t help but picture all the names and carved hearts dropping and scattering among the leaves …

The roses in the garden have turned to dust and left the ground to become stars in the sky, we lose one beautiful thing for the other, 

Lock pinkies in a promise and breathe in relief that our secrets are safe …

Books all written with the same ending line the shelves and my eyes can no longer meet yours, words are painful —

To speak …

The wind blows cold and yet it carries the scent of fire, arguments brewing, 

Ashes we only think have gone cold …

This is called morning, bright light, or perhaps it is mourning, unshed tears,

 a hand to your throat …

Dictionaries holding pressed leaves litter your coffee table, and 

Pumpkins sewn with butterfly wings look

As if they’re about to take flight to mingle in the stars

You’re too far away for me to love right here, right now —

And so I will love you from afar, until someday, somehow …

I was always yours… 

I hope you were always mine …

For now I can be nothing more than a memory but

I hope that someday you remember me …

Wheatgrass growing and dances in the night, the color turquoise 

keeps hold of my vision … I’ll be there waiting, 

watching the stars sort themselves,

an arrangement for heaven's doorstep.

 

Stargirl

VT

18 years old

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