30

If you ask me what I imagine my life as when I will be 30 I will have a few answers. I will not actually know what my life will look like when I'm 30 because I am 16 right now but forever 15 at heart. When I am thirty it could go one of two ways. I could be a responsible adult with a job and a family. Or I could be dead. When I was 14 I started using hard substances. When I was 15 I died inside. And I started to try and get sober when I was 16. I will be an addict forever. But I could be recovered and happy. Or I could be six feet under. Even worse I could be in jail or living on the street. Though I do not want that for myself at this point in time it is still possible. Even with my 30 ish days clean. I do not know what the future holds. I will never know what the future holds. I guess we will just have to find out when we get there.