JayJay

Cold, bitten, waiting at the door

Rain like the universe’s tears streaming down his cheeks

He knows rejection—it's known him from the start

You see, forgiveness is his revenge on himself

Mountains like monuments waiting

You may criticize 

With your finger pointing at me

But you do not rule my life

Does my confidence bother you?

You cannot stand to be wrong 

You demand attention and validation

I promise you I care

This I know for sure.

I promise you I’m here

Just maybe not to stay.

I promise you I’m fine

Just in my own way.

I promise you I’m trying

I swear I always have been.

I am a teenager

My life is not simple

I am traumatized and scarred

And doing my best

But it seems like adults can’t see this

All they see is an anxious little girl

Who doesn’t seem to care

If only I’d never met you

If only I had been stronger

If only I had seen sooner

Just how abusive you are

If only I hadn’t let you

Turn my life to ruin

If only I hadn’t tried

To be chosen. 
 

That's all I wish for—to be someone's first choice. 

I watch from afar, lost in a sea of the bittersweet feeling 

As others are always chosen first, but never me,